Most of us rarely, if ever, do. Yeah, I include myself in that. For example, despite some truly great experiences this past weekend, I struggled with procrastination, indecision on how to spend my time, and the resultant self-aggravation for either not getting more shit done, or being able to fully relax and appreciate life. Fortunately, I’ve learned to put these thoughts and feelings into perspective and see that my ego is running the show. But it still feels lousy. So, as part of my own self-therapy I thought I’d share with you my understandings around the incalculable and immutable value of our true selves.
Here’s a little thought experiment on recognizing inherent self-worth (aka learning how to feel love for ourselves, aka true relaxation/enjoyment/fulfillment,...etc.). Genuinely consider how you would feel to know that someone is deeply suffering, be it physically, mentally, or emotionally. What if you got to peek into a window on their life and saw their hurt, loneliness, isolation, and self-loathing. Maybe you can see it even if they cannot. How does it feel to imagine them hurting in this way? Try it with someone you love very much. Then, maybe even try it with someone you don’t like much at all! Do your feelings depend on what they have done in the past? If they’re attractive? If they have talents? A job? A romantic partner? If they did the dishes last night? The answer to all of these questions and more is a resounding, “No.” Maybe you thought of some extreme examples where it seems some of the above criteria matter, but consider that maybe you’re not really allowing yourself to empathize with their suffering because of your own “conditions of worth" (e.g. "If they did something really bad, then they lose the luxury of having people care how they feel."). We have an inherent desire to relieve our fellow humans, creatures, and the environment as a whole, of suffering, because something in us recognizes (think of this as a “felt sense” rather than a thought) the inherent, unconditional value in everything around us.
And, here’s the shocker: you are part of that everything! You ARE that everything (remember, you are stardust!). In a very literal sense, you don’t have value, you ARE value. Funny how easy it is to forget that. To “hold” your own self in the same way you would anyone or anything that you recognize as precious, vulnerable and amazing, is nothing shy of a revolutionary shift in being. I can’t think of a more worthwhile endeavor. The world doesn’t need us to get more shit done, it needs more people to live in love, to see the true value in all, themselves included.
Hey, if reading this post made you feel a little better, like it did for me to write it, please follow me, like me, recommend me, or whatever it is one does to show support on Facebook or Twitter. And if you want to talk more about how unconditional self-value could be a part of your everyday life, please contact me to set-up an appointment!