Holiday Blues

My apologies for the long hiatus in posting. The truth is I've been busy, and I am grateful for it, but I got lost in the "to-do list," which is a rather uninspired place to be. Today I was fortunate enough to receive the grace to just slow down. Eventually I just sat, and I felt what was really happening while I was unhurriedly doing things: my heart and its swirl of emotions that had gathered over the last several weeks were all catching-up to me, like a dust cloud that catches-up to a speeding car that skids to a halt.

This time of year brings this kind of deep loneliness to the fore, as we are surrounded (both internally as well as externally!) by ideals of family, peace, happiness, and connection. But we look at ourselves and the people we know (and even the ones we don't) and see tremendous loneliness. Heartbreaking loneliness. It's more than we can usually bear, so we may keep it below our conscious awareness. So, it's not even our own loneliness we feel, but the loneliness we sense in our fellow beings, in the world at large. This bone-deep loneliness, is deeper than it's ego-based cousin founded in thoughts of "I wish I wasn't alone." In addition to it's existential origins, deep loneliness is caused by rarely, if ever, feeling really seen. Seen all the way through to the heart. We are surrounded by other busy people who are distracted. And if we were honest, we would admit that we, too, are distracted, and so we are rarely even there for ourselves, much less others. 

So, how do we address the deep loneliness of the world? We just need to show-up in loving awareness, with an open heart and awake senses. It's great if you want to volunteer or take-up a cause, please do! But the true revolution happens when we show-up anywhere in our lives in loving awareness. And that starts by being present with your Self. Slow down. If you can, just sit, and notice your breath. Let the feelings catch-up with you, like a dust cloud. The tears, the anger, the fears. Just breathe. Notice that you can hold your own hand. That you can hold your own heart. Now, go out into the world like this and share your presence, in all of it's full, tender-hearted glory. You need this. We all need this.

All you need is already within you, only you must approach yourself with reverence and love. Self-condemnation and self-distrust are grievous errors . . .
- Nisargadatta Maharaj - I Am That